I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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