bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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