ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That reminds me...we need to get swords
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
