HIV tests are more positive than that guy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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