Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
