every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
