i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i came on her dog
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
