Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
