How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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