I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's just like the Real World with babies
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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