Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
