she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
