What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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