OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
