don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
