Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're so nebulous sometimes
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
