I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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