ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
