i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
