how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
