Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
