I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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