Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
