Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
