I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
wow bdsm is so cute
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
