I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
