Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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