5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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