I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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