Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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