you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
