Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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