After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
