Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
