Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
