I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
