Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
