K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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