So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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