Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
