you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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