I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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