i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
