Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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