East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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