apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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