Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
