haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
