It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Even my vagina gasped.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
