how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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