You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
