Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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