I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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