It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I understand Curling. That high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
