Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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