from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
