The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
